My wife and I came up with the great idea to watch Friday the 13th on Friday the 13th. Both of us had distant memories of this movie from our childhood. I think I was 10 when it came out so way too young to have seen it, and given the conservative nature of my family and town, I don’t think I actually saw any of it until college sometime. So in all reality, it was just like the first time. Here are some of my thoughts:

No surprise: no academy awards were associated with this film.

Big surprise: Kevin Bacon plays one of the main characters, and I think we spent way too long studying his amazing filmography, and missing possible depth and meaning in our experience… but actually not.

The idea of depth and meaning: don’t go there with this movie. There is little. The low tech 1980 film effects were funny to watch, and the plot was not particularly interesting, so the main focus of our time was the following top 5 list:

Top 5 Mental Health Choices that could have saved some lives and a camp’s future:

• 5. Truck driver dude – why are you offering a ride to a young woman in your truck without any thought to her feelings of safety and not a hint of your own misogynistic world view. Dang… the 80’s. Don’t give rides to teenage girls!
• 4. All the teen murder victims – you all need some help in understanding how to cognitively process what is happening, and make better life choices. But bummer it’s too late. It might be wise to NOT turn your neck to your assassin and just scream. Try running fast, or fighting back. Did any of you think it might pay off to stay together!!!???? Learn how to fight back, and run!!!
• 3. Alice – oh Alice. You were deservedly pissed but taking her head off at the end of the movie with the machete was a bit much. Take a moment to think – just drive away in the jeep when you had the chance! You’re gonna need a good therapist who gets PTSD.
• 2. Crazy Ralph – Acting like an unhinged religious extremist wack job is not the best way to convince a bunch of 20 year old folks to avoid a fun week at camp. Just stop it! Take a communication class at a local community college…
• 1. Mrs Voohrees (Jason’s mom) – seek some time with a therapist for unrelenting grief as opposed to a 20 year mass murder campaign.

Just a few tips to avoid the possibility of being the subject of the next Friday the 13th movie, which I believe will be number 13…