It is two days until Christmas and Thanksgiving seems like a distant memory. This time of year is busy for most. The thing that makes it busy is our plans to connect with relatives and friends to spend time, celebrate the holidays, and enjoy. So, why do we do this? That can be a long answer, and there are as many reasons as there are individuals making choices. For people with kids in their lives, much of the holiday attention shifts to making a great experience for them, full of wonder and excitement.
When you step back, though, and look at the biology of it, what you find is something positive and life changing. People do better when connected: long term, healthy relationships extend our lives, improve our health, and give us a sense of well being. For a few decades, good science has been done to establish these correlations, but it is taking much longer to reach our medical offices. As I’ve learned about the health aspects of connection, I’ve taken some time to evaluate my own relationships. The questions are pretty basic: are my family relationships healthy and am I spending time to cultivate positive outcomes? Are my frienships healthy and supportive? Am I making time for connection? Unfortunately, much distracts me from these tasks. I was so reminded of this when traveling to Spain earlier this year. The culture that I encountered celebrates relationships in such a practical way: meals together, nights out with friends, family celebrations, and groups/clubs that organize relationships around commonality are so much a part of the daily experience.
In the United States, we typically do not do these things, and the trend of the last few decades shows decreasing connection across the board. Media, fear, and politics seem to drive us into our homes and away from others. We need to take a hard look at this, as our health is at risk. The take home lesson is to inventory your relationships and take an honest look at how you spend your time. In all my years in healthcare, I’ve never encountered a person in their last days worried about work, money, or their stuff. They talk about their relationships: friends, family, the love of their life, kids, the people they call brother and sister… and often they ask for connection with them to spend their last hours, make ammends, and communicate something important.
Connecting is difficult for many so here are some tips and ideas:
- Call a friend (with your voice!) and make a date for doing something fun
- Take you mom or dad out for dinner and pay for it. Concentrate on asking questions, and then listening to the answers.
- Make cookies and deliver them to a neighbor as a gift. Kindness can plant seeds of good will, that can grow into supportive community around you.
- When with family this season, genuinely listen without generating your next comeback in your head, half listening.
- Evaluate your activities with friends: do they allow connection, or are you just in the same place at the same time. Connection means communication.
Celebrating holidays then is a natural extension of our desire for health and wellness. Whatever you celebrate this season, reach out and find connection.
Myhealthadventure 
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